Wake me up when 2009 ends

2009-12-22T03:48:00.000-08:00

I rather feel pain than not feel anything at all.

Time to seriously wake up and not get fked by other ppl.

Surpise entry.. towards 2010!

2009-12-19T23:02:00.000-08:00

Lol its been so long since i touched this blog. I guess i would be using it for awhile till the end of this year. I doubt anyone will be seeing this so i'll just anyhow ratter on.

2009... indeed a very shitty year for me. Had my palm read by this Master Khor, an astro-palmist. Most of his predictions were disgustingly accurate and scary. Especially all the bad ones.

Let's see. First was about my money issue. He said i would lose alot of money in 2009 and i need to be careful about it. I did lost alot of money this year thus far. I lent money to a guy who i knew only for a few months just because i was too nice. Ended up i was being taken advantage of and he has yet to return my $1.3k =/ Spent alot of money on cab rides too lol unknowingly, my money in my bank account has become so low.

Another prediction he made was about my love life. He said that my relationship this year, no matter how much i try or what, will not work at all. The r/s i get is a result of just using me without any thing. Needless to say, i afraid it is happening to some extent. At least for the not working out part. I chose not to believe his words yet as much as i try to prevent it, the inevitable still happened. =(

Well i guess things are really beyond hope. At least for the remaining few days to the end of 2009.

One prediction which did not occur however, is that i will suffer head injuries. Glad that didnt happen if not i'll just be more irrational or stupid lol I guess it really proved a point that, all the predictions are just coincidental and not predetermined by fate or anything else. I guess there is still hope after all bah. Even if its still low, i will still try =)

Havent really been myself this year. Neglected alot of friends, work. Became irresponsible and did stuff which i never would have do. Time to wake up for 2010. I shall get back on my feet and move on bah.

If things are meant to be, we will eventually come back together. If not, im glad to have been through the times with you. Even though it was a short period of time, the few weeks were truly enjoyable. =) I can't possibly undo the damage i've did or the pain i caused you, but i do hope that you are able to forget all those.

11 more days to go till the end of this cursed year =)

National Day Parade 2007

2007-08-11T05:32:00.000-07:00

Finally ndp is over and im glad.. haha one less saikang to do... for the past few weeks had been packing goody bags and other stuff... it was boring ... but better than having outfield trainings for sure ... For my first time i never watched ndp live or on tv.. instead doing duty at padang as an official (sounds big but lol it isnt) .. basically my job is too do saikang.. like carrying heavy stuff for the NTUC ppl ( the organisers) at padang and help to control crowd.. there was this largest human flag event at padang that day... started at afternoon 3 pm.. but we already started work since morning... was giving out free balloons, caps and singapore flags just outside Raffles city...it was fun haha.. loved the expression on the faces of the little kids after they got the goodies from me.. but what disgusted me was the typical "kiasu" singaporean attitude... lol.. i just merely took out a box of caps.. and all started to swarm towards me like some hungry dogs... not only taking one but several for each of themselves.. greedy shittsss ... at least there were many pretty girls to look at and collect stuff from me =x lol and what i was doing at raffles city was definitely much better than the rest of my friends who were at padang under the hot sun.. moving stores lol.. we only joined them after our items were exhausted.

The crowd at padang was crazy man... the open space was barricaded and a stage erected at the front along with a large LCD screen... the distribution points were poorly planned out.. they were too near the edges of the enclosed area and there were many civilians trying to kope all extra stuff ... lol alot tried to beg us to give them.. but as much as we want.. we couldnt .. we had our instructions not to... but some even went to the extend to steal the goodys lol... one auntie was taking away 10 ndp bags and got caught by police.. and chased away from the area lol... SINGAPOREANs man... anything "FREE" attracts singaporeans ... lol what a bad image we showing to the other foreigners..didnt manage to view the national day parade.. the screen was rather small and i had to do my stuff..

The worst thing which happened to me was that this old chinese couple approached me... and started speaking alot of malay to me lol... i was like "huh? wtf u saying" (didnt used wtf literally) ..lol then they realised i was not a malay guy -________________- wad the hell...

the event ended roughly around 8.30... i tot it was over.. lol... but we had to continue to clear the rest of the clapper stars.. and stores for the ntuc ppl... lazy ppl.. making use of us NSFs... when the crowd started to clear.. what was left was just rubbish all scattered over the field..we were only dismissed at 10 pm... i was shagged man lol.. tired from the standing and talking with the public.. the public is really damn irritating to handle.. i finally understand how it feels like when u're dealing with public at work.. anyway i managed to kope alot of clapper stars.. its just a lame star-shaped torch which droved alot of ppl crazy .. and total of 3 ndp bags... heh heh... now i can make a France or Italy flag bag =D anyway i think this is gonna be the last time i wanna take part in any event which involved handling with public lol.. it totally sux.. though its fun sometimes.. irritating ppl still overrides anything...but afterall.. its quite an interesting experience for me this year on national day

17-18th august there's gonna be some fireworks festival at marina/padang area... be sure to catch if u're a fireworks fetish =) ... sianz outfield next week.. when is ord man lol

Beautiful things

2007-08-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

This song rocks man...DJ TIesto & Andain especially the singing and its trance! woot my new favourite now

020807

This morning had a 18 km run at east coast park... now back at hm finally.. shaggggg man... even saw brent at ecp today running as well too haha...but i didnt really clock a good timing this time.. cuz havent ran for like 3 weeks due to ndp involvement....packing goody bags etc.. sianz.. Army Half Marathon coming this 26th aug... still left 24 days ? in fact is lesser than that.. cuz ndp is coming... getting more and more busy liao.. hoping to come in below 1hr 50mins for the 21 km half marathon this year... having plans to take part in 42 km full marathon at the end of the year hahaz... still waiting for the response of my other friends... sounds a lil crazy man... never really ran so much in my life b4.. oh well once in awhile do such a thing seems fun to me =D

Anywayz.. this coming sunday 4th august... stupid ndp saikang again.. this time will be at marina /suntec region giving out ndp balloons ... lol who ever wants them man.. besides little kids with families... have to finish 750 balloons in total.. but i doubt we gonna bring the exact 750 there hehe ... probably some will be kindly donated to the trash bin and some left at home.. and the rest to the public haha.. my legs and ankle already start to ache and suan liao.. still have to stand whole day from 1 pm till night on sunday... sianzz haha oh well still beats staying in camp sometimes... these days feel as if i've already ORDed... almost everyday stay out... able to go home ...have time to catch up with my old friends haha but after ndp training tempo will start to set in again... outfield trainings and more trainings.. but not to worry cuz oRd is near next year hahaz ... still left about 6 to 7 months left

now feeling quite bored at hm... quite tired as well hahaz ... just listening to some music ...trying to find things to do... lol so free man.. tml sure will have a hard time getting up

Hmm...how i wish i can still go back to jc time.. hahaz.. missed so many opportunities and chances... with * ....now kinda too late to regret or do anything le i guess >_<

And if i'd fought with all the strength i held inside...

2007-07-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

Above & beyond - Alone tonight

Slipping side ways, silver stars collide
And fade away just like our love that died
And there is no where in this universe to hide
From you tonight

I've wrestled with angels all my life
Its always the haloes and the wings that keep you blind
And if i'd fought with all the strength i held inside
I wouldn't be out here
Alone tonight

I Wouldn't be standing alone tonight
I Wouldn't be standing alone tonight
I Wouldn't be standing alone tonight
I Wouldn't be standing alone tonight

Woaaaaaah

Alone tonight, just like the western star i'm sinking
The angels curse me blind with straight and crooked thinking
Alone tonight, just like the western star i'm sinking
The angels curse me blind with straight and crooked thinking

(Repeat)

This is one of my favourites from Above & beyond... something wrong with youtube today.. shall post a mtv of it soon =) i like the lyrics especially haha... or rather this quote

" And if i'd fought with all my strength i held inside, i wouldnt be out here alone tonight. "

kinda fits the situation im in i guess... last time in jc... haha the one mebe i wanted to and would've jio if i can go back in time .. oh well.. that gay pradeep still has alot to tell me... always change topic dun wanna tell me >_<>

Nj stoRy~

2007-07-20T05:48:00.000-07:00

More coming up.. try to make as many as i can... limited by the hair styles though =/

Block leave and offs.. feel like a block ?

2007-07-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Having my block leave and off this week.. from monday to wednesday... haha.. 5 days long weekend... supposed to be shiok yet i feel damn bored instead haha... seems like army is screwing up my mind.. wished to have free time while in camp.. now when i get it.. i suddenly dunno what to do during my free time besides playing game at hm.. going out ( to play again lol) .. i would be playing my game now if not for some stupid server maintainence zzzzz =_-;;

Been addicted to the game Company of Heroes recently.. lol kept going to Cathay besides plaza Singapura to play at the E2max lan place... keep going with the usual gays .. each time at least 3 to 4 hrs there... initially got conned before we found that there's this safra offer.. play 2 hrs get 1 hr free! During weekday... its like 2.50 per hr... so we play 3 hrs for just 5 bucks..owning man... but that before 6 pm.. after 6 will be 7 bucks for 3 hrs.. still cheap =) considering good coms and razor mouse (oo yeah).. haha

Ndp is around the corner woooo~
gonna be busy for the next few weeks to come... ndp stuff.. saturdays burn... hahaz all for just one day... this year's ndp gonna be very interesting... if u guys got the chance u should head down to the ground and watch it =)
just about 7 months more till O.R.d. =) not long

Tags
Jason and shaun: why jason jealous isit? lol anyway what happened to our paintball plan ? that gay pradeep ... Ratatouille is nice! though i watched it on dvd haha.. let's go play coh again woot

Emmi: haha i only told one person only =p no one else shall know

regrets? Time travel? what?

2007-07-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

[ ---------------------[----------------------[
0 --------------------21-------------------- 40

You ever have any regrets in your life before? im sure everyone do.. i do have many regrets...

As we all know ...most of us gonna turn 21 next year or so... yet for the past 20 years or so.. we have these regrets...mistakes.. things which u wished u never done or wished had done... don't u wish u can go back track and go back in time.. to relive ur life ? Let's say i make it possible for you to do so.. u can go back in time.. change what u did and never do in the past 20 years and make it better..

But the sad news is... that's not possible =/ we don't have the capabilities to do time travel...oh yeah.. we cant control time... but we cannot let time control us as well... everything we do counts in every second... so we cant change history... we have to live on with regrets .. however there's one thing we do... just imagine.. we are 40 years old now... and u are able to go back in time ... probably back in ur 21... what would u do to make ur life better ? have no regrets at all ? Right now where you're standing (or sitting) ... u've just went back in time... from 40 to 21 =) so make the difference now... how you wanna relive your life. You are reliving you life right now
(hope u guys can understand what i mean)
Attitude is important in every aspect.

me personally have couple of regrets.. mainly in jc life ? haha.. supposedly my most fun time in my life.. yet came along with the most down periods.... wished i had focused more on studying.. wished i was never too engrossed in my cca work... wished i never neglected the people around me... wished i had jio some girls i knew in 37th council ? who ? hahaz =p interested in them yet didnt take any action.. oh well.. now im just in the army...

they say that army takes away time from us... in controversy.. i think i have more time.. set aside to think and reflect upon my life... need to start thinking what to do after my ORD date in 2008 feb... had a couple of ideas in mind...
play sports regularly (badminton)
gyming
learn dance
learn driving
work
these things to occupy my free time before uni starts.. hope my uni life would be a better one... been hearing from people that its boring in uni.. better not be for my case =)

There are generally 3 ways we learn things throughout our lives
1. Experiencing a value
2. Doing a deed
3. By suffering

ideally the best is the first choice BUT ultimately

the choice is yours
think about it.. how u wanna live ur life =)

anyway.... transformers owns

I don't wanna stop

2007-06-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

Candace: whats face book ? haha im lazy =p
The rest: updated liao.. so sianzzzz

haha finally decided to update my blog and write an entry.. after a few months since my last proper entry in april ? lol .. im one lazy shit =p well alot of things have happened for me.. but im too lazy to write them all or can recall all of them... the main things happening for me now is just NDP 2007 and Army Half Marathon (AHM) which are coming up soon... as u all know.. we Nsfs are plainly cheap ( free in fact ) labours in the eyes of the country... lol.. for the preparation of this year's ndp alone.. i've been involved in carrying and moving tens of thousands of water bottles.. and other stuff commonly known as "sai kang" for the past 1 month or so... in two weeks time.. gonna be doing gift packing.. not for the actual ndp but for fringe activities before and after national day itself... what i can say is that this year's ndp is rather different from the rest of the previous years... firstly its not held in national stadium nor padang.. but on a constructed floating platform at marina.. just beside the esplanade... cool huh ? haha if u guys havent seen it yet.. shld go take a look.. although the size of the platform and seating gallery aint nothing compared to the national stadium....im sure this year's ndp will be unique... there will be alot of celebrations going on before and after 8/8/07 ... thats where my unit is involved in... bah... giving out balloons ? gift packs? helping external organization in their programmes.. haha..
there's also a fire works display some where after national day.. cant remember the date exactly... will telll u all when i find out =)
The thing i cant stand about these few months is that... i have to do ndp stuff.... training for ahm... and outfield training concurrently... damn shaggg man.. i dun have much time to rest... the only weekends i get is for rest and games... lol and I PLAY ALOT.. so little rest sianzz..
but not to worry ... ORD is not far haha.. its just a couple of months away.... like 8 months ? i still have to think for my future..havent really decided what to do next time ....i need time to plan ahead... learn driving... maybe change of course? find part time job ? find gf ? (haha give up on that man... i have no luck )

run and run... twice a week. for this year's 21 km marathon... not like i can siam it...
6km - 26 mins 15 secs
8km - 38 mins 30 secs
10 km - 48 mins , 46 mins 20 secs

nvr ran so much in my life before.. lol ... but my 2.4 km still sux... haha ... k time to play dota with shaun and the rest ... till i blog again =)

And not the forget... Hope DC's doing fine in US now =) look forward to meeting him with the rest again

TRANSFORMERS!!

soon?

2007-06-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

gonna blog soon.. perhaps next week? haha

A little experiment...

2007-04-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

I have something to share with you guys..heard it from somewhere. Try this little experiment ....do as instructed.

1. Fold your arms like you normally do. Now fold ur arms the other way round. ( ur arms in an opposite way) Does it feel awkward ? Remember that feeling.

Now try this...

2. Grasp ur both hands together. Now move a finger up and grasp ur both hands again. Does it feel awkward? Remember that feeling.

So what can u tell from these two little experiments ? Generally everyone do feel awkward and experience that feeling for both .. It can be related to the things we experience in life.. We all tend to feel more comfortable by being our usual self... when we are put into a different situation.. we feel awkward and uncomfortable.. just like the folding arms and grasping ur both hands together... and we always revert back to the original ways in which we feel less awkward.. it is our brain which tell us to do so.. however..they are people who understand that they have to get use to the new environment in order to progress and become better..they are the ones who tell themselves not to revert back to their original ways when they are faced with new unfamiliar situations or challenges ... those are the successful people in life... For example we can relate it to our army life.. for us ns guys... for most find it very hard to accustom to the regimental lifestyle of the army.. people try to get themselves used to the awkward feeling and the environment..some ppl give up and try various ways to get back to their normal life style and remain the way they are... they are some who constantly remind themselves not to do so and suit themselves well into the new environment and eventually perform well in army... im not saying this entire issue is only constrain within army context... it is also similar in our future working life.... when u start to work.. u are put in a new unfamiliar place and will experience an awkward feeling... if the awkward feeling persists... it will eventually lead to u unable to perform and do ur best in work... if u are able to overcome the uncomfortable feeling by not always returning to ur original ways... u will be able to feel more comfortable in the new environment.. and only then you will be able to perform... Everyone in this world has the potential and capability... the difference is the attitude... how one makes sure that he or she is able to feel comfortable in any environment so he or she can perform to the fullest. That is success.

So what i am trying to tell you guys? Attitude is important in life... attitude affects how well you do things and determine whether u are successful in life. So remember.. whenever u face a new challenge in life.. do not feel afraid to approach it.. rather approach it with the proper attitude.. the more u exposed to the awkward feeling.. the less awkward it will feel.. and eventually lead to ur best performance... hope u guys understand =)

parades and more parades

2007-03-18T05:54:00.000-07:00

chief of army change of command parade ... chief of defense force change of command parade... engineer aniversary parade.... so many lol... busy week for me.. stupid corn under my left foot still dun wanna drop .. grr

March comes..

2007-03-04T05:27:00.000-08:00

Cny season is over ....havent count my ang bao money yet
The junior batch guys got their results... everyone generally did well.. distinction rates were high... haha congratz to them all..
And wtf man... what shit grades i got last time... oh well
haha nothing much i could do for that already.. its up to my own determination is make it back in the Uni... till then bah..
Two parades coming up this march .... parade for Chief of army and Chief of Defence force... oO.. more and more footdrillsss..everyone's most hated activity.. but i love it ...maybe im just pure sadistic =D
And DAMn..... 91.3 wkrz station is long gone.. T_T ..no more technos..dance or trance on radio .. haiz.. what is this world coming to man...

Nooooooo block leave over... so is cny soon >,<

2007-02-25T05:12:00.000-08:00

time really flies man... so fast one week has passed and gonna have to book in tml morning .... feels as if i had already orded lol.. oh well.. about 340 plus days left to go ? hmm recently heard about this environmental design course.. its kinda new.. wonder if nus offers that.. if so i might consider applying for that ha... hmm havent counted my ang bao money yet lol... nvm.. next book out then count.. sighz just been playing my games during this block leave.. haha nothing much ..nth interesting bah.. hahaz things just gonna get abit stagnant for the moment .. waiting for ndp season to arrive..maybe more things to look forward to.. kinda lazy to type more liao

oh yeahhhhh love the first track... but have no idea what isit called ... arghhh damn

and jason said the top video was too blurrr X_X

up to youtube surfing again =)

2007-02-22T06:15:00.000-08:00

This one's by dj sammy... sounds familiar ? the same guy who made dj sammy-heaven ... most of u guys shld hear before.. nice =D enjoy

my block leave's coming to an end... lol siannnzzz nth much done this week as well.. besides playing my game.. eatt and eat

Happy CNY !!! =)

2007-02-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

Finally its cny already haha.. got quite alot of hong baos today ..woot..what's better is that i have this entire week free ...block leaveEE ownage .. booking in back on 26th Feb only.. haha time for a good rest and play my games .. =) well as usual every year i draw a small red packet from the temple which supposedly tells my fortune for the year.. its written good this time again.. hmm let's hope that's the case bah.. haha sometimes really wonder if life is all about luck and coincidences.. or everything is controlled in ur very own hands... =/ recently my dota skills deproved alot... zzz oh man.. keep getting pwn by ppl.. talking abt vday lol.. a sucky one thats all i can see..nothing else (-_-'') tml gonna go bai nian again.. and tuesday onwards gonna be free.. haha.. perhaps boring i guess... army is like that.. they take so much time from u... yet when they give u time.. u suddenly feel that u are too free.. been hearing abt this new course environmental design.. kinda interests me.. gonna check it out whether nus has that course.. and maybe gonna reapply for that... still got 1 year more to go... no.. infact less than that.. 35x days left haha slowly counting..

my aunt says that i need to eat more (o_O) lol .. on the other hand i thought i've been eating too much in camp and slacking alot.. united nations at my tummy haha...anyway need to get myself to start training more myself.. need that drive man.. where did it go ...zzzz (>_<)

anyway happy chinese new year to all ! wish everyone a prosperous and happy year ahead =)

Cny is near , so is vday

2007-02-11T05:54:00.000-08:00

havent really blogged for the past 2 weeks.. well kinda lazy as well... and changed my skin once again lol.. its not fully done.. gonna do something more with the picture and background and other stuff.. hmm realise my dota skills getting worse and worse lol.. bought new jeans and shoes for cny.. didnt get any new shirt ahh... don't usually do shopping one.. quite amazing tat i actually went out to buy sumthing lol well vday is coming... gonna be a rather boring vday for me this year again like last year... haha oh well.. nth much i can do.. cant really ask anyone out i guess.. gonna spend vday eating combat rations ( coy line giving us cuz it was intended) and swim at nee soon camp... not sure whether they giving us nights off that day .. but i doubt i will be going anywhere with anyone.... well to the other guys and gals... early happy valentine's day ! =D for the singles.. haha nth to be sad abt.. u're not the only one...

heard the bad news abt richard's dad last sunday.. attended his dad's wake on monday .. =/ dun really know what to say or how to help... its definitely a tragedy.. at least i know richard's coping quite ok with the loss.. to richard's dad.. rest in peace

CNy coming

2007-02-04T05:53:00.000-08:00

ooo .. haha kinda lazy to type lately.. gonna change my blog skin once again for the coming cny.. lol

shuffle =) still practising at hm

2007-01-28T04:41:00.000-08:00

wish could reach this standard some day haha

Empty

2007-01-14T02:57:00.000-08:00

At least the dance party in nj was rather good this year... well thats the only good thing i see about this year's nj orientation actually lol... just pray and wish them good luck for this year.. hope they do well =) now each time i stepped into nj.. feels like a different world.. i no longer feel that attached to the school anymore.. after all the changes they have made.. the spirit just wasnt there as it used to be... haha ...not exactly a bad thing ... but could still recall the things we used to do in school with the rest.. i wun forget them... everything changes...even myself.. for now i can say that i don't hate any one for anything.. i dun hold grudges.. that way i lead a happier life =D i dun curse ppl anymore.. i bless them.. oh well... i find myself a supporter rather than an initater... i tend to work harder for a group or friends rather for myself =/ im lazy for myself but not for the group i belong to.. haiz.. kinda bad cuz i dun achieve much for myself.. procrastinate alot and other stuff...oh well.. have to start to think for myself already lol.. just another 389 days left to go..
think i've already made up my mind... don't bother getting into any r/s until end of ns... haha.. i dun think i have the luck in this year.. just do my best in my unit and each day ..hope everything else goes smoothly for me.. as for the girl .. i guess i'll just forget abt it and keep it the way it is.. as friends =) im quite hopeless in such thing lol

Odessey

2007-01-08T03:34:00.000-08:00

today went back to nj after a long while..haha to view this year's orientation.. took an off today which i got it from doing xmas guard duty lol... others like pradeep and brent used m/c and dental appointment just to come back haha... anyway my dad felt like driving me and dropped me at the bus stop opposite nj..and guess who i saw lol xiu jing ! haha she was waiting for someone to go into school wif.. anyway i had planned to ride in the gay nair's gay to get inside school... the walk-in performance started at 830.. well.. i had expected a better performance.. the start was really bad.. the pa crew and the ogls couldnt liase properly and caused a big screw up ...and they had to restart twice or thrice.. and made several other mistakes as well... the solaris ogls also didnt take note of the limited spacing between the crowd and the stage and someone actually fell onto the j1s after tripping over the props.. that was bad and unprofessional to be honest.. during our time when mr steven wong was around.. such mistakes would not be tolerated at all.. it was all because of his strict standards that we were able to pull of an almost flawless performance after countless rehersals which held us back late every night.. =/ i guess this year's ogls didnt practice much .. don't think the teachers monitored their progress closely.. not only they made mistakes.. i kinda find the performances rather chaotic and messy this year.. the various clans didnt really follow up their theme.. for example.. we have aerius house (supposely wind) using fire as their prop.... solaris (supposedly sun) using ice.... quite a mix here and there and their elements wasnt that strongly shown.. oh ya.. and they danced alot.. zzzz lol each walk-in was damn draggy.. roughly 10 to 15 mins.. lol i still remember wong wong only gave us 5 mins strictly per walk-in.. so we wouldnt render the j1s restless by watching too long of performances.. well not in a position to criticise them.. its their show and not ours anymore =) just glad that we are able to do something that we are satisfied ... as long as they feel satisfied.. there's really nothing wrong.. and oh.. their dances are great haha =D well walked around the school for awhile.. talked to some teachers.. and we happen to see one of our old sji pe teachers now teaching in nj.. haha mr irwan and he still recognise me and pradeep as sji guys.. wow... hmm about this year;s j1 batch.. sadly.. alot of the sji guys look damn nerdy this year.. ahhhh o_O sad sia... only a few ok ones.. hahaz and quite alot of other nerdy ppl ...omgggg .. well there are quite a few cute and chio girls around as well hahaz... crap.. and i forgot most of the mass dance moves already especially summer night.. which i mastered it before.. cuz i kept mixing up the guy and the girl's move... did too many girl's move already lol .. last time with dc ...another thing which disappointed me was the general image portrayed by the ogls... i agree with xiu jing ... they are rather untidy and messy .. especially their attire.. really gave a bad image of themselves to the entire crowd.. everything seem much chaotic.. and somehow missing out some safety and professional image..well dunno how to say... anyway i still think the 37th rock lol =p not biased but its the truth.... mainly because we had a good teacher to nurture us haha.. too bad he's left nj and we didnt managed to pass down our experiences well enough to our junior batches... its partly our fault for what nj has became.. nj changed alot.. kinda felt happy cuz alot of these changes were actually our work last time..all the feedbacks gathered and proposals written and discussion sessions with the admin.. werent that useless afterall.. mrs cheng did implement and improve the school according to our feedbacks.. too bad we werent able to experience all these improvements in our time.. but the junior batches managed to...but for that im satisfied =D

hmmm actually had this issue running through my mind for quite some time... well to tell the truth.. i had actually liked someone for quite some time... but cuz she had A lvls last year and i didnt really want to affect her studies by approaching her so kept everything in me... and kinda regret during my j2 time i wasnt able to spend more time knowing her better as a friend and cant really get a strong foundation of friendship... =/ and sometimes i really wonder the kind of like isit the one which i should go for it or just let go ? ..ahhh quite troubling sometimes.. and even if i try to approach her and confess to her.. it will seem kinda awkward cuz i wasnt able to talk to her alot before =/ especially that im in ns now.. there's hardly much time to talk to her.. and i;ve always been hopeless in these kinda things lol... not very confident at all sia.. zzzzzz and dunno what to do from now on.. well we only talked a few times ... i could just forget everything and wait till ns ends and find better luck in uni.. or i can take a chance to go for her... zzz O_o ..but what i can say is that my chances arent really high... cuz im quite a different person from her.. she's more of a sociable person where as im the opposite.. ahh cant talk more le..

gotta book in !

new year 2007

2007-01-02T05:40:00.001-08:00

2006 has ended and here comes 2007...HAppy new year aLL !!1

well eventually went out on new year's eve despite initially wanted to stay at home ...join the usual people at cityhall then headed to esplanade bridge area... and the crowd was horrible lol... i hate crowded places... and to make things worst.. it started raining lol.. the 7 of us guys had to squeeze under two pathetic umbrellas and sitting down on the road.. the scene was hilarious haha .. had a few anti climax fire works before 1200am at the top of the NTUC building.. and when the time comes... not without any count down the final fire works started lol.. damn lame... it was too sudden.. but anyway the fireworks was nice ...later on headed to clarke quay.. had coffee and chat at coffee bean... later on headed to macs near bras basah road... later on to boon keng mrt station.. where my bro pick me up and drove me back home while the rest continue their walk to toa payoh and shaun's place...

well thinking back about 2006.. i cant really say that i have much to celebrate about besides just the end of 2006... things which i couldnt do and have not done..things which i didnt want to do or wanted to do.. all these are history already haha.. there's no way i can redo anything.. my resolution for 2007 ... to simplify it.. is just not to cheat or lie to myself ... and really wanna get ippt gold this year.. haha and hope things stay smoothly for me.. i dont really ask for more but just peace and serenity... have you ever felt that u'[ve always wanted sumthing just because the rest has it... and when u got it.. u suddenly didnt felt like wanting it anymore? i have alot of this kinda feelings last time lol And when u start to lose it.. u just wanted it back badly... well i pangseh alot of gatherings last year... lol i felt bad and really wanna apologise to those people.. the truth is that i dont felt like going.. =/ and not the lame excuses i made.. i just dun wanna be a wet blanket and spoil the mood for everyone... i dun really wanna cling on to the past and keep going back nj.. well going back once in a while is fun with the usual people where we talk abt our past experiences back then.. but its just a foundation for me .. a stepping stone for my journey.. im not even half way through.. so there's much more for me to learn and see.. there's alot i dun know and yet i want to know =D let's see how this year will go for me 2007..let all bygones be bygones....so bring it on!

403 days till O.R.D !!!

new year 2007

2007-01-02T05:40:00.000-08:00

2006 has ended and here comes 2007...

well eventually went out on new year's eve despite initially wanted to stay at home ...join the usual people at cityhall then headed to esplanade bridge area... and the crowd was horrible lol... i hate crowded places... and to make things worst.. it started raining lol.. the 7 of us guys had to squeeze under two pathetic umbrellas and sitting down on the road.. the scene was hilarious haha .. had a few anti climax fire works before 1200am at the top of the NTUC building.. and when the time comes... not without any count down the final fire works started lol.. damn lame... it was too sudden.. but anyway the fireworks was nice ...later on headed to clarke quay.. had coffee and chat at coffee bean... later on headed to macs near bras basah road... later on to boon keng mrt station.. where my bro pick me up and drove me back home while the rest continue their walk to toa payoh and shaun's place...

well thinking back about 2006.. i cant really say that i have much to celebrate about besides just the end of 2006... things which i couldnt do and have not done..things which i didnt want to do or wanted to do.. all these are history already haha.. there's no way i can redo anything.. my resolution for 2007 ... to simplify it.. is just not to cheat or lie to myself ... and really wanna get ippt gold this year.. haha and hope things stay smoothly for me.. i dont really ask for more but just peace and serenity... have you ever felt that u'[ve always wanted sumthing just because the rest has it... and when u got it.. u suddenly didnt felt like wanting it anymore? i have alot of this kinda feelings last time lol And when u start to lose it.. u just wanted it back badly... well i pangseh alot of gatherings last year... lol i felt bad and really wanna apologise to those people.. the truth is that i dont felt like going.. =/ and not the lame excuses i made.. i just dun wanna be a wet blanket and spoil the mood for everyone... i dun really wanna cling on to the past and keep going back nj.. well going back once in a while is fun with the usual people where we talk abt our past experiences back then.. but its just a foundation for me .. a stepping stone for my journey.. im not even half way through.. so there's much more for me to learn and see.. there's alot i dun know and yet i want to know =D let's see how this year will go for me 2007.. bring it on!

what a way to celebrate Xmas 2006

2006-12-24T04:57:00.000-08:00

Guard duty... lol i actually volunteered for it.. call me insane
well... im guessing i wont be celebrating much for xmas anyway... so i think i'll just try out doing guard duty during xmas haha

oo received a letter that i need to go for a psychological test on 26th december... the day.. heard from my friend that this test is supposedly for those who are mad lol.. dunno how to get to MMI from my camp sia... its near NUs thats all i know =/

Bought a pair of new jeans lol.. first time for me... still needo buy a belt shoes.. and other barang barang... but im just a shopping noob!

And oh ya... MERRY XMAS TO ALL =) and a happy heng new year ! hope good things will come for everyone in the year 2007 =D

Fate/ Stay Night

2006-12-17T04:42:00.000-08:00

Redid the skin for my blog again.. haha realised i often changed my skin ...too much time during my block leave i guess... did nth much during this 1 week leave... well.. just played alot of games.. nvr went out.. except ytd and on the friday night.. had dinner and played pool during that fri nite with the usual guys... yc kenna chao tar by the sun lol and also congrats dc on his commisioning as an naval officer .. or midmanship ? somthing liddat haha ytd went sentosa ... supposedly a council gathering but the turn out .... lol need not go into details of that... anyway its just about 10 plus of us... sentosa changed alot sia... couldnt recognize the parts of the beaches when we reached there.. new facilities.. new things here and there... personally i feel that its getting less natural there... seeing more concrete o_O in that "green" island... couldnt locate any available vball courts.. zzz so end up buying a frisbee and played..lol..shaggggggggg.. the sun was crazy too... the gays tricked me into taking out my hp and the ultimate gay pradeep tackle me to the waters.. knnn ... my wallet was still on me ! lol well its not that bad to think of it... my wallet had gone thru worst than getting soaked in sea water =p for those who noe abt my wallet lol hang around at the beach until 4 liddat then headed to vivo city and finally to marina square.. had my virgin experience in a kbox.. lol turned out to be a lame experience for me.. always say that going kbox with a bunch of guys is damn gay... this time got 2 girls lol but anyway i still find it gay =p one week sure passed so fast..gtg book in tml morning.. arghh
btw i got this background pic from this new anime called FATE/ Stay Night... the last episode (total of 24) was only released earlier july this year... came across over youtube and eventually watching the entire anime.. good anime i say =) just that its kinda short..wish they are more sequels coming up.. for those who are interested in anime.. recommend this anime to u guys bah.. some of the events happening in the anime ring the bell inside me.. not very good at commenting bah.. just watch it lol

No matter how horrible the outcome is, we can never undo it. Even if we can, the memories still remain. All the years and time we gone through enduring the pain and agony will then be rendered meaningless. What we can do is make up for it and change things which are still existing now and the people around us. Do not have the desire to undo the past, instead look forward, change and do what you can for the future. At least for the loved ones around you.

Taggies

2006-12-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

Leon: wad the hell... php is fond of u not me lor .. its a total mixed up !
ming: hey ming ! haha congrats for end of exams and hope ya get good results =D
ET: lol it will end.. its just later for u
Pradeep: u weak gay lol i wasn't flirting.. u still havent tell me sumthing
Duffy: yeah damn =/ time to maple ? lol

arghhhh another exercise this week... went discovery centre today for unit live day.. ooo anyway will have my block leave from 11 to 17 dec... haha but isit sumthing to rejoice abt ? everyone else isnt free lol wad the .... shall type more stuff next week bah

Blurry

2006-11-19T02:29:00.000-08:00

hmm... dunno what to talk abt these days... as for life in AETC... i couldnt ask for more already haha.... though the issue of mosquitoes still around... they just can't seem to die =/ i wonder how's NJ like now.. havent went back there for quite sometime... time really flies... yeah.. now most of the j2s already finished their A lvls... that gay pradeep asked me whether wanna go for the prom party on 3rd dec nite.. lol i have NS duhhhh how to go... see first bah... wore running shorts to town 2 days ago...i'm not GAY !
arghh i need something new in life =/ cant wait till ns ends.

Talking bout' eclairs

2006-11-05T05:42:00.000-08:00

ytd after booking out frm camp went to meet up with the usual bunch of gays...kenny dc jason yc shaun huiyang and the most gay of all PrAdeep O' Nair lol had dinner at pasta mania talking abt our past...and ytd nite met quite alot of familiar ppl .. ppl frm sji.. njc ..friend's friends blah blah.. kinda fun to talk abt our past in njc haha.. recalled all the funny moments we had together in the various adhoc events.. halloween party...godlike designed haunted gym (by me =p) that even spooked kenny when he left his wallet back inside at night... national day celebrations... someone actually called up the zoo and asked for a lion ! lol... i wonder who..kenna scolded by the zookeeper...senior's farewell dinner at swissotel.. the skit was owning...still trying to find that video =/ teachers' day celebration.. the 2 day preparation did pay off and turned out very well haha.. all the last min hardworks.. La famiglia 2005... orientation... wish i could go back then ..

Eclairs? at starbuck the 8 of us sat down talking and drinking.. saw the eclairs at the counter and pointed out to pradeep lol i bet eclairs bigger than urs ... even wai yee thought the same too .. dont be say pradeep haha =p

had live firing ytd before i booked out actually.. lol major screw up... the entire tnt flakes fell out from the container and all over my fieldback....zzz now my bag is full of tnt smell.. tnt flakes taste bitter btw... zzz going for some gay macritchie hike tml... what is army becoming to man lol

thinking of forming or joining a cs clan.. or taking part in wcg next year ?

exactly one year ago... still remember everyone frantically worrying abt A lvls haha

i can see joe was real stressed up... hope the juniors arent haha =p
*this are just some lame things we do everyday in njc =)

long breaks...

2006-10-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

had a long weekend last week... off from friday till tuesday... and this week as well... sat to this coming thursday nite.. haha quite shiok.. but kinda feel sian as well.. cuz dunno what to do besides playing games at hm and going out with friends..feels kinda empty these days.. everyone is just busy with their own stuff... got no one to really hang out with or talk cock with everyday =/ especially the j2s currently who are facing their A lvls ... been mugging whole day long lol ... wish u guys all the best for the upcoming exams =) 2 years is really a short time... "times flies like wind, fruit flies like banana" ( LOL ) if u dun get it nvm.. means u're not lame enuff =p

Have yet to clear my soc.. sianz.. but gonna clear it in a next few tries i swear.
Had live gunnery firing last thursday.. incorporated some tactical sense... just hate the camoflauge net so much...but firing was awesome... a 300 m range open air... just a hill opposite.. at night it was like star wars.. firing tracer rounds.. and along with hand held illum rockets... like fireworks which lit up the sky.
Gonna have another live demolition coming soon this coming saturday.
haiz... wish for something new in my life =/

Some nice music =) if u're into trance .. or if u're not.. the vocals are nice

One of my all time favourites =)

Im learning this =D (melbourne shuffle)

2006-10-16T05:41:00.000-07:00

The sky which has long not been sunny... Still keeps your smile as before

2006-10-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

Finally exercise Sappertrail is over.. and that should be the last high key event for my unit ... and its slack till kingdom come already =D just have to count my remaining days left till O.R.D.

Stupid haze is still around... getting worse each day sia... dunno what those noob farmers are thinking lol

Missed Nj open day ytd.. cuz only got to booked out ytd late afternoon.. besides was kinda tired as well and everyone else wasnt there anymore.. Come to think of it.. i seem like losing connection with Nj... there's hardly anything which want to make me return there for besides fond memories with my friends and the 37th.. the sch seemed less lively as before when we were around... everyone is just busy with their studies and no life man.. maybe there are still a few who feel the same way as i do.. was scanning through pics and managed to find some old ones ----

hmm i cant remember exactly which day was this taken... but im sure back then the mood and atmosphere was much more lively and fun =) Check out the legendary "SIGN" which the sji guys brought over to NJ =p ( i think it was me and some others who extensively used it lol)

La Familglia brings back good old memories..

It'll be good if im able to get back together with old friends in gatherings and talk abt the wonderful experiences we had in the short 2 years =) but seemed that i keep missing all those chances cuz of my army zzzz anyway i gonna have a whole week off on the week after .. all the offs my unit owes me.. haha quite shiok but kinda lame cuz i'll only be the one free during that time... sighz..

Long live SoLaRis! (b^,')b
The Sun which never burns out

Looking forward to each new day.. hoping for something new to chance upon me.... my life is kinda getting stale =/

Here we go again

2006-10-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

Finally finished changing a new face for my blog... have always been wanted to get a skin which is army related... cant find any in blogskins.com so as usual had to find pics and layout myself and piece them together... Gonna go for a major exercise next week from 9th to 14th october in Pulau Tekong.... sighz.. gonna miss Nj Open house day... i've been missing all the nj events and council gatherings cuz of my ns... am i suay or what?

Its quiet out there... but not for long.

2006-10-01T07:10:00.000-07:00

hmmm looks like i havent update this site for more than a month.. well felt like changing the skin quite some time ago.. finally did it.. but still have quite a few changes to be made before im contented... not enough time cuz i have to book in tml morning zzzz

Alot of things happened.. try to recall:
1. Finished course ended and now officially no longer a trainee ! ( Slack life welcomes me =p)
2. Cleared my ippt silver dont need to go for rt ( more time for games)
3. Most xiong activity everyday is area cleaning on most days o_O
4. Upcoming exercise from 9th Oct to 14th Oct (sianz...outfield again)
5. Now i have 2 nights off per week ( hope it doesnt change =x)
6. Screwed up my markmanship (Fancy shooting well in the night and missing alot in the day)
7. Had a taste of Tear gas at the smoke training facility (Simply wtf)

The Chemical Defense familiarisation was indeed a meaning experience for me.. it looks cool putting on the gas mask and covering ur body from head to toe.. effectively making u immune to any chemical attacks. Everyone just looks the same and the sight is hilarious.. but its uncomfortable wearing them for long duration.. very hot ah..and u feel constrained in ur face... my gas mask was leaking.. yet i didnt realised till i got into the smoke chamber... and i felt the power of a small pellet which is only abt 5 to 10% of the actual tear gas concentration they use on rioters... when we had to take off our mask to expose ourselves in the smoke.. the burning sensation was horrible... over ur sweaty skin.. eyes ... noes and throat.. it chokes u quite badly... i had to take awhile to recover myself from the trauma..well at least im not as bad as some others who puke and cough violently.. can imagine how rioters feel and its wise to avoid those tear gas grenades shoved at them .. pity the girls in singapore wont have any opportunity to experience the effects of tear gas.. unless they gonna riot or sumthing lol it was fun =)

(To be completed soon)

2006-08-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since i written a proper entry... time really flies O_o ... it feels as if ytd i was still in NjC...

Hmm..let me try to recall what happened in the past few weeks...
1. Had my first live demolition firing at poyang range...i was the firer of the positive circuit connected to 3 block charges...30 seconds to run..the explosion and vibration caused by the detonation was simply spectacular.
2. 4 consecutive days of outfield... transporting stores... building wire obstacles... mineclusters and clearing them... just one word to describe it... "SHAG"
3. Had a 12 km run at east coast park ytd... csm allowed us to listen to mp3 and run at the same time lol
4. Everyone in the company line hates my pc O_o and the 2 i/c
5. Went back to Nj ytd.. meet up with familiar ppl and gays like pradeep yicheun derrick shaun huiyang and many more...as usual played badminton awhile and LAN alot lol (p.s. Yc derrick shaun still owes me money for lan grrr)
6. Fancy losing two phones in a row within a week !!!! arghhhh damn pissed... replaced sim cards twice... lost both phones on taxi... cuz i was sleepinzzZz ... now have new hp 2610 model... if i lose that one i can just diee...
7.Been playing alot of games.. getting sick of it.. sianz

Realised the sch wasnt much lively as compared to the past ..sighz... well cant help it anyway.. its not longer any of my business now...i've done what i can and contributed as much as i could to my alma mater... glad that it did improved in certain aspects... the 37ths really left a legacy =) my old mindset about ns life has changed eversince i stepped into aetc... used to thought being a men in army sucks... and commanders generally enjoy alot of priveillges... it turned out otherwise... in units... frm what i can see... men are treated like precious babys... sgts treated as dogs...officers act like dog owners... O_o... could see many of the officers very arrogant and stuck up.. but not all the officers are like that fortunately.. just alot of them are like that... Sgts complain alot.. regreted being one cuz of the higher pay.... as for men.. really enjoy a good life... kinda slack though... very little responsibility...just have to follow instructions and carry them out.. sometimes i just dont understand why ppl still complain being as men... even though in the past i would do the same too lol... always wanted to take up some responsibilty and more important tasks... still remember one nite when our csm came to talked to my platoon and asked where we were frm.. he said "how come u guys frm rj and nj end up here..." lol when i heard that.. became damn sian diao... its either i screwed up my sit test (unlikely possible) or i anyhow did my computerised test (most likely)... quite unfair to see how the army plans certain things... setting aside more ppl who generally obtain better academic grades and pushing them for cmder schools.. its true being a leader u have to be intelligent... but some ppl's attitude and personality just cant make it... =/ anyway i dont have much complains already... im glad i've ended up in a nice small unit.... sgts back in bmtc used to say.. bmtc is the most fun time during ns... and unit life sux.... i beg to defer now... bmtc sux... and unit life rocks... why leh.. i begin to realise.. i no longer keep in touch with my bmtc friends already.. even those who are very closed with during that short 3 months... everything seems so fake for some of them... deep inside most ppl.. they just wanna perform and be the best ... so that they can be posted to cmd sch.. no true friendship is formed... most make use of other to get what they want... unlike in unit... lol everyone almost gave up their dreams of doing great things in army... instead help each other survive the tough times... in this way bond ... can imagine going into sispec or ocs... more competition... fascades...and maybe sabotage or whatsoever... i dont need those things in my life... its not that im not competitive enough ... its just that... i need to find a reason and purpose in doing things...before i put in my best... ppl often say i wanna be platoon best or whatever crap whenever i volunteer to do alot of saikang... but i say instead... i want a best platoon not platoon best =)
still counting down to the days of my nsf.... after which i gonna seriously start planning for my future.. i've dilly dallied for too long.. its time to catch up and think for myself... gonna be xiong for the next few weeks.. but after that... my course should end and its slack till O.R.D. ...have to do somemore saikang for ahm next weekend... another weekend burned...zzz

Kimi To Iu Hana ( A Flower Named After You) - Asian KungFu Generation

2006-08-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By an obvious form of despair, my hollow spinning heart is looped
Thoughtlessly somehow progressing motionless story

When was it that we lost the something along the way we know all too well today
Pointlessly somehow progressing motionless story

That is, only that...
Only shattered

By the appetite deep within us, my puttered out heart is looped
Thoughtlessly somehow progressing motionless story

When was it that we lost the something the unspoken real me knows
Pointlessly somehow progressing motionless story

That is, only that...
Only shattered
That is, only that...
Only danced in the wind

From your eyes a lone sparkle trickles
Ah, clear sky out of the blue
If it's just pain it's evenly divided, yeah... it's gotta be
That's our color

Until my white breath vanishes, friskily dashing through that street
In the town visible from the hill blossomed a flower called "you"
It'll blossom again

That is, only that...
Only shattered
That is, only that...
Only daced in the wind

From your eyes a lone sparkle trickles
Ah, clear sky out of the blue
If it's just pain it's evenly divided, yeah... it's gotta be
That's our color

Until my white breath vanishes, friskily dashing through that street
In the town visible from the hill blossomed a flower called "you"
It'll blossom again
In a color resembling you

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Im a lucky man =)

2006-07-17T07:45:00.000-07:00

heh heh .. i feel my luck returning to me in ns life =)

sianz

2006-07-16T02:58:00.000-07:00

Its been 2 weeks since i last blogged... didnt blog cuz was too tired.. had live range that week.. fired m203 live rounds... too bad we didnt get to fire the matador... only a few lucky ones did.. but only the sub caliber.. not the real HEAT round.. also not that spectacular... one poor guy didnt screw the round properly into the matador and caused a misfire.. which led to alot of inconvenience.. pissed oc and the other commanders badly.. think he kenna 3 confinements.. this will be last week of my course 1.. after which course 2 will start and more shit will come .. lol... kinda sian lately... been feeling very empty... =/ hope i will really wake up after ns ends ..and time to really plan and decide what i want in the future... still in a daze... somebody help meeeeee

Wilco Tango Foxtrot

2006-07-08T04:37:00.000-07:00

Halloween 2004 @ Njc gym

Armoured Engineers!

2006-07-02T04:20:00.000-07:00

Its been my 2nd long week end thus far... haha seems that life in AETC aint that bad afterall... sometimes very welfare.. but sometimes very fucked up as well... but what i can say is that everyone is adjusting well to this new environment...think im beginning to like it here.. gonna book in a few hours time.... gonna been another xiong week ahead... been playing alot of computer games these days... ytd went out with zhihong, shaun and derrick.. played pool and lan.. hui yang joined us as well... too bad that pradeep booked out late haha .... suddenly got an urge to start maple again... ever since i stopped like 4 months ago.. now starting another new character in Cassiopeia server along with yc and derrick.. and mebe shaun too..haha that should keep us occupied throughout our ns life bah.. quite sickening to see alot of fucked up kids these days... their attitude is damn screwed up... generation by generation getting worse and worse man... but not all the kids are like that i guess... still recall thursday afternoon when i alighted from my cab after book out.. this little boy saw me in my no.4 uniform and got damn excited.. kept telling his mum "mummy look ! SOldier leh" lol i find it damn funny ... alot of ppl curse and swear abt ns.. but for me... i kinda like it.. afterall its for our singapore =) no matter how fucked up it may be... its still where we belong..till

Here with me

2006-06-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

ATB - Here with me

You're the one that turns me on,
Been waiting for you oh so long
Can't believe that you are here with me
You're the one that turns me on,
With someone else it feels so wrong
Feels like you've been gone an eternity

Want to start anew
Never saying I'll make do
You've won me over again with your lovin' charms
Want to start anew
We were never really through
Can't believe that you are here with me
------------------------------------------------

Well... its been one week since i entered AETC.. there are both good and bad things abt that place... Sungei Gedong.. armour camp... its damn old -_-''' everything is like decomposing.. lol.... especially for the AETC side.. just behind it is the training grounds... infested with alot of commando mosquitoes.. horrible man.. living conditions are crazy ... now i find bmt is like a resort to me and im stuck in some ulu lousy place.. haiz.. but truthfully speaking... so far.. thats the only thing which seems bad to me... food seems better than bmtc in Sungei Gedong... my sect coms are nice.. except for my ps and pc... they are both damn garang and strict ... gonna see their true colours soon i guess.. haha...alot of training and lectures in the last week...but able to book out on friday nite.. spent the whole friday to make preparations for the unit aniversary held on sunday... alot of sai kang.. reminds me of good old council days haha... then have to go for the carnival at Nee Soon camp... Nee Soon camp is heavenly meh... cookhouse is like food court... everything so new... not to forget quite afew chio bus in that camp lol... wtf am i in sungei gedong.. all the girls i see are the canteen aunties who serve the food... sad la.. haiz... good thing have off this monday... thats why can stay awake till so late... gonna be another long weeek for me tml =/ till then... ciao

Recognition...

2006-06-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

haiz... the fact that im very pissed and upset about my posting cannot be hidden ... wanted to go cmd school badly... but seems like cmpb doesnt wanna grant my wish... i admit i may not be good enough physically or have good qualifications... what irritates me most is to find ppl who have screwed up attitudes getting a chance in cmd schools... so what the fuck if they have ippt gold or attain good grades or put up a good act ? the army is damn rigged... damn disappointed with almost everything already... everything's been bad for me since the start of my jc2 life.. and it continues till now... sometimes i really wonder what the hell is going on... i think its cuz im over idealistic... the way i see things or do things arent realistic enough... in this real world.. its really every man for himself... especially in our adulthood...nobody really cares abt how others feel all the time...everybody just wanna get what they want... even through despicable means... its true alot of ppl always complain... that they nvr ever get recognised for their efforts in what ever they do...i do feel the same way strongly... it really irritates us when we see others who don't deserve the awards and recognition they are receiving.. but just becuz they took an extra step in making themselves been seen or heard... so cant really blame them... blame ourselves who dont have enough determination or fighting spirit to compete in this fucked up world... im just plain lazy sometimes yet complain that im not recognised.. quite bad of me.. been using vulgarities alot these days... cuz i know myself best what i've done as well as those ppl who i've did things for.. my friends.. i dont need recognition from the public ... just like before and i dont need to make an extra effort to promote myself and attract attention... just fuck it lol well since ns doesnt wanna give me a chance in cmd sch.. so be it.. i'll make do in whatever crap they give me... quite silly of me to always complain abt such trivial stuff... shld cut down on that.. before i upset more of my friends..for those who wanna mess me up.. i fucking warn u all... dont make my blood boil.
See how my new unit goes.

Next phase....

2006-06-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

Posted to : AETC
Vocation : Armoured Engineer Pioneer
Location : Sungei Gedong camp

.... Wad the fuck... these 3 words came across my mind right immediately when i saw my posting online...

2006-06-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

sighz... miss my hair... i wonder who's that gay behind me ? lol

Block leave time...feeling mentally blocked

2006-06-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

cant imagine how fast time flies... first day in tekong really seemed like it happened only yesterday...3 months plus ended so fast and completed bmt already.. haha finally a private! not exactly a big F**k in ns yet.. still some small fry man...

anyway also got accpeted by nus environmental engineering hahaz .. anyone who got that course let me noe too =) high chance to be classmates lol... sometimes i also find it funny.... im kinda sadistic towards small moving creatures... like bugs... i wun hesitate to cause pain to it lol for those who noe me ... i think i've been getting all the retributions recently for the past 2 years for all my evil deeds.. sighz..

actually kinda lazy to blog abt the full details of bmtc leh... lol now needo enjoy the rest of my block leave... went out a couple of times le.. to play haha... getting fatter each day also cuz nvr train....still waiting for this friday... my posting will be out... my new phase of life awaits me =) be it command sch or not command sch it doesnt matter... still can make the best out of it =) really enjoyed the days in bmtc...had alot of fun.. times of suffering.. times of joy...and not to forget all the snack we have everynight lol! caused alot of sore throats though... haha will nvr forget the time spent in tekong.. the food.. the air.. the people...the surrounding... should've brought my own camera in sia... wish i had taken more photos.. now have to go around beg from others...

well im single again haha.. wtf man... i guess i really give up this time le la... im not fated...no luck in this kinda thingy... sometimes when u put in too much effort.. it doesnt work... not putting enuff effort also dont need to say la.. i just cant get the chemistry rite.. =/ oh well... just pray i dont turn gay during the rest of my ns service term.... till 7th february 2008 ! my ord date =)

Pop loh... haiz

2006-06-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

finally POPed... supposed to be happy but had to go back to tekong for re-24 km route march...sux big time man...anyway went back ytd...everything was damn rush...rained the bloody whole day... didnt stop at all.. delayed the start but continued in the rain... everything was wet from head to toe...field pack soaked with extra weight of the rain water...to make it worse...we are made to carry dummy rifle for the march...wtf...its much heavier compared to the real rifle lol... terrible feeling man... obviously felt damn shiok after completing the 24 click...started at 10 am ended arnd 5 plus.... suppose to book out at 610..but wtf man...the sgt pms or sumthing and delayed our book out timing... changed to 730..yet at the terminal..time for the ferry to be fked up...came late and was damn slow...reach saf terminal...no shuttle bus to interchange...wtfffff... damn tired and pissed....

been having a "relationship"...but i really doubt it.. it feels more like a relationship in name..just for say..i dont feel anything at all... the only weekends which i can meet...often been screwed up by something...now that i have my block leave...one week of free time... yet she isnt free as well... i really dunno what to do man... it seems like everything just wanna go against me.. trying my best to make things happen.. yet its totally effortless...maybe im just plain suay...or not fated to have any r/s at all man..haiz.. im losing confidence as each day pass...wonder if i shld push on and strive on...but things arent definitely getting any better...could be my fault that im not doing enough...haiz..what i can say is that..if this continues on... there's nth i can really look forward till anymore.

The day i fell

2006-06-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well.. only blogged about week one so far.. shall continue the other weeks when i have time...

29th May 2006

started to fall sick.... went to report sick...no fever leh... so no attend c

30th May 2006

starting to have fever.... yet not so high in the morning... gradually increases as the day goes by.... after recruits night..and pizza night... before sleeping.. check temperature... 39.2....39.3... 39.4.. omg high fever... went to report sick at nite...stupid MO damn fucking fierce for no reason... like wanna kill all the sick ppl liddat.. think cuz the previous guy before me vomitted on him lol .. gave me attend c.. but cant go home cuz too late le no fast craft... went back bunk to sleep... ate alot of panadols... yet fever still high... had a terrible night trying to sleep.. felt damn hot for my first time...

31st May 2006

Woke up...felt like a normal day in camp...as usual grab my toiletries and headed to the toilet... went for a piss... halfway thru... felt my vision blurring... in my mind i though.. "what the fuck..." after that...before i could squat down and regain my consciousness...i totally black out and the next moment i fell backwards ...hit against the cubicle door hard and slammed to the groundhard ....and saw myself staring straight and lying on the toilet ground...heard alot of ppl calling my name.. yet i could not respond or move my body... but uncontrollably let out eerie crys of pain..just like someone who had fits... i was damn worried at the point of time...i just noe im in deep shit this time...what a thing to happen to me...could roughly recall...Bo Wei and JOhn carried me down the stairs to the company office.. i was still semi conscious....then i lay down infrnt of the office...awaiting help..and the stretcher...all the seargants crowded arnd me and later carried me to the medical centre...at the med centre... felt slighty better already cuz of the cooler temperature...stupid medic jabbed my ass with painkiller.... my back still hurts like fuck... then stayed at the sick bay... about 2 to 3 hrs later... went back to company line and packed my stuff and booked out... crap man... after book out went to see private doctor.. obviously cuz theARmy medicine.... lol shall leave u guys to fill in the blanks....

for the next two days still felt very horrible... still having slight fever but not as high as the initial one...still have flu and cough like fuck...now 3rd day.. feel slight better..cough much less ...think cuz i changed the medicine with the doc again... shld full recover by end of this week hopefully.. but my back still hurts ....haiz cuz of this sickness... missed so many things in this week... 24 km route march, SOC , IPPT, pop rehersals... wad the hell man... chances of me going command school is so much slimmer now..... zzzzzzz what a thing to happen near the last phase of BMT...

Heng embarks on a new journey =)

2006-05-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

8th April. 1130 hrs. Laid my first foot upon a sunny island - Pulau Tekong. The air smells so different from the mainland. Cant really say it smells good or there's a stench, all i can tell is that the air is definitely foreign to me. On the fastcraft heading towards tekong already found out which company i would be going to. COugAr coy. First thing on my head was "FUCK!!!!" lol heard many stories from the guys who went thru the jan batch, suggesting that that company happened to be one of the most xiong ones...infact the most xiong in school 1.... was hoping that i get into a more slack company haha... like my other friends.. gay pradeep got into Falcon...some say its slack.. some wonder whether it ever existed lol derrick got into the notorious viper...and yc into taurus... while brent got into pegasus... legendary slack coy lol... well all i noe im in for a jolly good life for the rest of my BMtc life. Started to count my days, exactly 9 months.. Enlisted on 8th April...Passing out on 7th June... now just one and a half weeks for me to go.... been here for about 7 plus weeks... been through so many interesting things... so much to tell... guess i'll be spending the rest of the entries recalling all the past experiences i had.

First week of Tekong:
Still recall reaching the Pasir Ris interchange with my parents.. suppose to find the place to board the shuttle bus which heads to the SAF ferry terminal. Took about roughly 10 mins ride? Pass thru the security checks, scanned IC and boarded the fast craft ferry. On board the ferry, taking a look at the sea, wondering how ns life is gonna be like. Quite certain its gonna be an enjoyable and fulfilling experience for me. Upon reaching the island, soon separated from my parents, headed up a stairway to a holding area, collect my ID tags, the lousy quality black sling bag and other barang barang. Had some briefing , followed up by the Oath taking in the Main AUditorium with our present. Had lunch together at the cook house, first time tasted tekong food haha.. much better than i expected.. too bad they didnt give much tofus after that first meal =[ and they very stingy when it comes to giving extra portions of egg...after lunch, parents had to go.. waved good bye and im all alone from that moment onwards. Gathered with the other blur enlistees ... saw our seargants for the very first time.. some guys already got tekan cuz they damn blur lol later went off to collect our duffel bags and field bags... check stuff and etc.... and near evening.... time for us to LOSE OUR HAIR ...in the training shed... a few chairs placed.. and a few malay barbers standing there holding shavers in their hand...for a price of $2... we lost our hair in just a moment haha.. could see some guys damn sad when they got shaved.... hair all over the place.. damn messy ...the first two nights couldnt really sleep well... still trying to get use to the surrounding bah... the bunk was much better than i expected.. bed was not bad haha quite comfy.. though no bolster lol got to know some of my section mates... couldnt remember their names initially.. gradually knew each other better as time pass =] the first two days was just admin issues.. talks... and the training officially commenced on the 3rd day if im not wrong...had our first PT in the hall lol... damn shagged... though it was just a warm up..sweat like hell... they claim that everything we do in ns is progressive ... training and other thingys... first two weeks were known as adjustment weeks... time for us to make mistakes and wun get punished haha... knew a few nj ppl... jian yue chin hao guan wen joel haha.. so not exactly alone bah... the water taste real bad and different in tekong..zzz think that contributed to what is known as the "tekong cough" We were suppose to be confined for the first two weeks.. but luckily for us... on that friday was a public holiday haah.. good friday =) so we were able to book out and enjoy ourselves for the first time... it was a really short book out zzzz.... learn how to treasure every second of time man we have man...in ns... we " WAIt to rush... Rush to Wait" ... in a blink of an eye.. the first week quickly passed with no problems =]

quite tired now actually.. had 16 km route march ytd... and our 2 i/c told us that we were the fastest batch ever to complete that march ! oh YEAHhh haha well quite late to talk abt what happened many weeks ago.. but will try to recall as much as i can bah....tired liao... going to sleep...

Wake me up when NS ends.

Wake me up

2006-05-27T02:06:00.000-07:00

When Ns ends...